Redeeming failed expectations
By Sherry Thomas – Guest Contributor
Toward the end of our first year of marriage, my husband and I made an agreement that forever changed our relationship. We decided that no matter how angry we felt, we would never again suggest we had married the wrong person.
Until that point, it was the ultimate weapon in heated arguments. Making this declaration in an argument did tend to bring things to a halt, but never in a good way. It sowed seeds of doubt. It led to the question, “Were we destined to be stuck in a loveless marriage?”
Thankfully, the Lord graciously intervened and shifted our perspectives. The reality was, we both lacked. We both had expectations of one another, some good and some unreasonable. I was not that nurturer that my husband thought his future wife would be, and he didn’t offer to help when I was doing something I detested then, such as cooking. He had a habit of holding grudges, while I tended to overreact and say things I shouldn’t.
Along with other personal differences, we seemed then to be incompatible. Yet, to call our marriage a mistake would have been to declare that God had made a mistake. After all, our commitment to each other was made in His presence, with His binding.
“Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.” – Mark 10:9
God had done the joining. Maybe we had been idealistic in our expectations, but God had a plan and purpose for our union. He allowed us to say, “I do,” recognizing all the things we didn’t.
The Lord’s design for our union was not based on ignorance, but on His complete awareness of our strengths and weaknesses, our individual pasts and our united future.
As we continue to study the life of Jacob in Genesis, we come back to the same conclusion: God’s plan of redemption outweighs every failed expectation.
One marriage, three broken hearts
“When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, ‘What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?’ ” – Genesis 29:25
The lives of Jacob, Leah and Rachel were fraught with tension and insecurity. Polygamy was never part of God’s design for marriage and the sisters lived in constant competition. They struggled for the attention of their husband and gloated over each other’s miseries. Did Jacob wonder if Rachel’s closed womb was a result of his decision to marry her when he was already married to Leah? Did he ever blame God for allowing Laban to deceive him? What if his circumstances were a consequence of his own sinful past?
Though I’ve studied this Scripture multiple times, I only recently realized that their story is my story. I don’t have the same sordid events in my own history, but I have felt what they felt. In life, I have experienced Jacob’s sense of betrayal, confusion, regret and guilt.
Like Leah, I too have been plagued by my own insecurities. The sting of rejection is a familiar feeling. Rachel’s disappointment, hopelessness and frustration are emotions that frequently threaten to steal my joy. From that perspective, their story is probably your story, too.
God had done the joining. Maybe we had been idealistic in our expectations, but God had a plan and purpose …
Jacob’s family life was not ideal, but it also wasn’t hopeless. The Lord blessed Leah with Judah, from whose line the Messiah eventually came. He also blessed Rachel with Joseph, who would later preserve that same line. What Jacob saw as a great injustice was used by God to bless him and, ultimately, the world.
While God used prophecies and visions in Genesis to direct His people on a future course, He never allowed anyone to go back and change the past. No wrongdoing can ever be undone. However, every sinner and situation can be redeemed. Without contradicting His own nature, God brings blessing into seemingly hopeless situations. There is a righteous path forward for the child of God to take at every crossroad.
Rut or redemption?
What areas of your life or relationships seem beyond hope? Are you tempted to assume that your own choices or the choices made by others have forever ruined any chance of fulfillment? When your marriage or spouse fails to meet the standard you had envisioned, do you mourn the loss of a dream, or do you look to the Redeemer for help and the right way forward?
Once my husband and I understood that the Lord had His own purpose and plan for our marriage, things began to change. Over time, He grew our love for Him and each other through the study and practice of His Word. He used trials and struggles to bring us together and He increased our dependence on Him. We learned that He likes to use spouses in His sanctification process, to point out sin and to practice grace. Those early unmet expectations were part of His bigger plan to direct our attention to Him. 18 years later, He has deepened our love for one another to a degree that we couldn’t perceive as newlyweds. As we look to the future, we know to expect difficulties and disagreements, but not without hope. God is faithful to continue His redemptive work in our lives until His good and perfect will has been accomplished.
… Every sinner and situation can be redeemed. Without contradicting His own nature, God brings blessing into seemingly hopeless situations.
God’s complete redemption is offered to every person who comes to the realization that only God can fix damaged things. Will you continue to carry around the brokenness or are you ready to offer it to the Great Redeemer?
Scripture is replete with stories of pain caused by sin, but they are also marked by His abounding mercy and love. Just as God protected Jacob, looked upon Leah and remembered Rachel, He continues to see us when we seek Him. Through His Son Jesus Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit, God is faithful to redeem every failed expectation.
Sherry Thomas
Guest Contributor
Sherry Thomas learned about Jesus Christ as a child, but as an adult she grasped the concept of a growing relationship with Him through Bible study and prayer. She joined Bible Study Fellowship more than 10 years ago after the Lord called her out of her corporate job to become a stay-at-home mom. Sherry is happily married to her husband Jacob, who is an International Controller for Bible Study Fellowship. Today, she is a homeschooling mom with five children and an Assistant Children’s Supervisor in her BSF class. She is also involved in women’s ministry at her church and is a guest contributor on ButGod.net.
Thank you Lord for your redemption plan for all mankind
Thank you Sherry. What a perfect title: Redeeming Failed Expectations! It is usually my expectations that are the beginning of my hurt in a relationship. Praise God! He can remove those expectations and redeem our relationships. Praying He will do just that in some family relationships.
Such a beautiful story.
Thank you Sherry, this is a great encouragement to me in my 28 years of marriage. I am a stay at home mom .I have realized that God loves me and has a plan for my career.
Thanks Sherry, your article is very uplifting to me. Sometimes I think my marriage is doomed and we stay in it because we got to, either for the kids or because we don’t want to break our vows. It’s true that my expectation was for my husband to care for me, yet we both get angry and I say things I shouldn’t and he does things he regrets after the damage is done. We live like strangers in the same house. Every regrettable incident we’ve had kills the trust and we got to start from scratch rebuilding over again. I admit we’re not very bright people, and act foolishly in the heat of the moment. We’ve been married for 13 years and together for 16, and the only person I trust is God. I depend on him daily, love to spend time time with my savour for He is the one who accepts me 100%. I don’t loose hope that God has a purpose, and a good one, for this marriage. Thank you.
??? I finally got the opportunity to read this beautiful article from Sherry Thomas! It confirmed to me that we all are on the same journey with unique situations but with the same goal! BSF continues to enrich my simple mind with the truth of our Lord Jesus. He has taken away the “seven” year rule enabling me to continue until He says it is time to stop or He takes me home to His house! Blessings and appreciation to Kimberly Foster who never gave up in her invitation to attend BSF in the fall of 2001. I joined in March 2002 and LOVE it! Much love and blessings to everyone at BSF for their dedication and prayers!!!
Amen to your story Sherry. It speaks directly to me in my 23 year old marriage. Times I cry out to God wondering when he shall bring me to the place of rest concerning our incompatibility with my husband. Your testimony assures me that God is at work, and he will start off by securing Michael through salvation for his glory and then draw him closer to him. His grace has been sufficient and yes, I will deepen my trust in him alone. I know that he is also watching over me and changing me by the day to see my marriage with His lens.
I am five years in BSF and a work in progress to fully depend on God for every single situation. Times I take things up in my own stride to resolve them. I pray that the Spirt of God will indwell in me and my inner ears will be sensitive to his instructions.
I look forward to share my testimony, on the Lords doing at His appointed time
Thanks Sherry
Thank you for sharing your journey I e God’s amazing grace doing in both you and your husband what you are not able to do yourselves re modifying your expectations towards each other. Praise God from whom all blessings flow and who is able to do exceedingly above and beyond all we can as it think.
What a wonderful testimony of God’s grace and of how much He can accomplish in us when we let Him.
Great reflection. Thank you for sharing your story full of Grace. One we can all learn by.
Thank you vero much for sharing your testimone!
Yours is a beautiful story of God’s redemptive work! Thank you for sharing it with the BSF community.
This situation is do well explained. I especially like—God’s plan of redemption outweighs every failed expectation.
I recently divorced my husband of 29 years due to alcoholism. I grieve the death of my expected dream and death of relationship. I came to realize I could only change myself. I believe God directed me to make the change, although, I realize divorce is a sin. Many people do not understand. I grieve that I don’t have a Christian companion to share my life.
Karen, praying for you during this difficult time! So thankful to serve a God who sees and hears His people
Dear Karen, I went through my divorce 25 years ago. I, too , grieved the loss of expectations. Though my husband was an alcoholic and adulterer, I remained in the marriage for many years. As the situation got worse, and it did, causing hurt to our children, I made an appointment with the pastor of our large church. He did not know me personally. He told me that no where in the Bible was there a commandment that said “Thou shall NOT divorce.” He reminded me that Jesus told the religious leaders that Moses, yes, Moses, had permitted divorce because “of the hardness of men’s hearts.” (Matthew 19:8) While God HATES divorce, He knows that we are but dust, and fail to meet the beauty He created us to know. I finally came to have courage to go forward with the divorce while laying on my bed, in anguish, reading Malachi Chapter 2:10-16 and hearing a voice in my spirit tell me that leaving the marriage was His protection for me. You are right to say that you can only change (be responsible) for yourself. Remember that “Satan” means accuser. Do not let him lead you to guilt and despair. Remember the LORD is guiding you. Psalm 37:4. I will be praying for you.
Your sister in Christ, Reta
Such wise counsel for life, and especially for growing a marriage! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this! I appreciate your thoughtful and honest insight.
Lovely story and encouraging too. Thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing your encouraging testimony!
Excellent article… extremely well written and insightful. You used your own story to bring out the love of God for us all through redemption. Thank you!
Such a beautiful teaching/testimony Sherry! I, and I am sure many others have been there.
I felt like, Leah, Just like Jacob, received the Blessing that was thought to be given to another..
The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
God Bless you, and keep you, may His Light shine brightly upon you!
I am praying for you and your family. I pray that He will guide you in your daily walk with Him, and that he will bless your family.
WOW! What a blessing! I really needed this today! I am in such a rut! This was so good I took notes! Sharing during my BSF fellowship time this week.
I thank God for the book of Genesis, especially the chapter I just red, chapter 29. That thought me to be careful in whatever am doing and to be more faithful in God , finally to do His will and run away from sin because of consequences.
Great story. Thank you for sharing.As a single man ,this shaped my expectations of what marriage is going to be like.I am simply a broken instrument in the hand of a perfect and loving God.
Waw……. What would I have done without the word of God. Am so encouraged to learn that God has his own plan and purpose for us. Everything works for good for those who love the Lord. Jacob was fleeing from his brother Esau, and now see what happens, His wives will later give birth to Judah and Joseph from whose line the Messiah will come from.
i feel inspired ‘only God can fix damaged things’
I enjoyed reading this and it was helpful in my life.
Sherry – thanks so very much for the authentic and transparent sharing of your story. It’s such an encouragement to see your example of marriage God’s way. He uses imperfect beings to accomplish His perfect will. Awesome God!
Thank you for this message. Many of us have soldiered on by trial and error!!! I am sharing this with my children, praying and believing that God will use it with great results!!! Thank you again for allowing yourselves to be used so effectively by the Lord. God Bless, Sarah.
I can relate to this story…my husband and I will celebrate 40 years of marriage on August 15, 2021…it hasn’t been easy, but we decided early on that divorce was not an option…after becoming Christians, it was easier, to give things to God and let Him handle it…(not always the way I wanted to do things, but thankfully God showed us early on in our marriage that He was in control and we just needed to get out of the way!) God is amazing! He loves us even when we are unlovable…when we try to handle things on our own…God is good!
Thank you sherry for such a powerful testimony. It’s encouraging to know that God is able to mend any brokenness when we present it to Him in total surrender. God bless you.
Thank you I always need good stories to help me lean on God more
Thank you for sharing your encouraging story.
Thank you for sharing your story Sherry. I’m encouraged by the thought that, “God is faithful to continue His redemptive work in our lives until His good and perfect will has been accomplished.
I am encouraged by this story.
I now understood God’s sovereignty over my marriage.
God is God!
Thank you for sharing.
,My husband and I were married over 63 years.We were married young but came to know the Lord before we were married.At one time I saw the need for my husband to change.Then I read Evelyn Christensens book,Lord change me.Then I learned all I was responsible for was what kind of wife I was.It made all the difference in our marriage.He has been in heaven for over 6 years and I miss him yet.You have helpful material.
Thank you for sharing your story. It encouraged me and I am sure will encourage many others.
Thank you for all sharing your story.
What a timely message. That it came to me when I needed it most is just amazing. Thank you for this gem.
Thank you for sharing your experience with God’s faithfulness in your family.It’s very inspiring.God uses challenging situations to draw us closer to Himself.When we submit our problems to Him,He takes over and uses them to glory His name.
Marriage is a matter of compromise and with God in control all will work out well! ?
Very encouraging. I can definitely see me in this story. I have experienced some of the same feelings and asked the same questions as well. But through it all I have learned to trust God. My husband and I have been married for 42 years now.
Sherry, Thank you for sharing about your marriage and how through God, you learned how to work through issues as you go through life together. Well said on how God works in us, through us and with us. We just need to trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding.
Sherry, Thank you for sharing about your marriage and how God works in our lives. Well said!
Sherry, Thank you for sharing your story, well said and good reminder of who God is snd how he works, we just need trust Him and His ways and timing.
Trust in the slots snd lean not on my own understanding;)
I really enjoyed your blog. i look forward to more of your inspiring messages. We serve an awesome God.
Thank you Sherry Thomas for your intimacy. Your blog was heart touching, sincere story & gave me life lessons.
I found your writing extremely heart warming and encouraging.
Well said. Thank you
It was inspiring to read.
Your story is very inspiring and I think is a redemptive story of someone who’s faithful to the one who you love most. As a believer we are all aware of our own shortcomings, doubts, prejudices, and feelings of rejection isolation and other things but we’ve been blessed with God’s promises of redemption and eternal salvation in Him in His Son Jesus Christ our savior
I liked your comment.
A true love story!
I’m getting married in a few months, and we already face some unmeeted expectations.
But this post has changed and shaped my view to look on Jesus who really can redeem every situation and bring us closer to Him and to each other.
Thank you for sharing
Thank you Sherry for sharing. It strengthens me too much. I thank also God to give us brethren in Christ. Your sharing is a sign from God to me: ” I am here Vololona, I know what you are living with your family. See your sister Sherry; be strengthened with my Word, be strengthened with her sharing!” Thank you sister! You have a beautiful family and your children are so cute! Stay safe and blessed in Jesus!
As we read accounts of people of the Bible, it will help us understand to remember that we are looking into different facets our human nature, tainted by sin
Our efforts to ‘cover’ our wrongs are as weak, ineffectual as the fig leaves covering at the 1st instance of our fall ( Genesis 3:7 )
Lord Jesus, shepherd us through life, we pray
This was similar to my story too and I had been mourning the loss of those years when everything seemed perfect, yet I too had come to some of the same conclusions and her words resonate and validate my feelings. Thanks for sharing
Marraige is indeed one big institution that God uses to mold us into what he has graciously planned for us. God is good! His mercies endure forever.
God bless you dear sister.
Wonderful article through which, I was personally able to relate to. I especially love the statement “every sinner and situation can be redeemed. Without contradicting his own nature, God brings blessing into seemingly hopeless situations”. Indeed, God never stops working in our lives. Thank you Sherry Thomas for being a beacon of light.
It is an INTERESTING, INSPIRING and CHALLENGING story. It is my second time of studying the BOOK OF GENESIS since I joined the BSF but I have never have it so challenging as this year’s study. Thank God for His FAITHFULNESS and GRACE to me, which makes me to be more DEPENDABLE on Him(Proverbs 3:5-6) Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m grateful to God’s redemption. I thought I was a mess as a result of decisions I made. Thankful that now I can depend on God to guide me and to redirect my paths. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing. I can see how God put us where we need to be. I was married three times and God brought my attention to the His Word.
I am greatly encouraged by your sharing Sherry. No sin is beyond redemption and God walks us through trials and test to bring us to dependance on Him.
I should never be without hope.
Thank you.
Thank you Sherry for sharing such encouragement to us thru your story and
applied Gen 29 to your life.
I’ve forward this email/blog to the women in my BSF small group as well.
To God be the glory!
What a beautiful story of redeeming love through Christ. I can so relate to the expectation thing……. I am still growing and learning and I can relate to your story. Thanks so much for sharing.
wonderful outcome thru the working of our Jesus Christ.
I wish that could have been mine! Married 11 years, 3 children,
and then divorce. But He has taught me this: “For I know the plans
I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not
to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” I have emerged
as a stronger woman thru the grace and love of his leading the
way for me.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
God is the head of our relationship if we trust and follow his plan.
You continue to encourage women.
What a blessing you are to other women!
It’s refreshing to read an article that expresses what I believe is a common situation in marriages, in divorces, and in remarriages. Only when we finally turn the hurt and pain and disappointment over to God can we endure and even find joy in persevering and remaining steadfast in His strength. So often in Christian women’s circles, seeking to ventilate feelings about your husband and marriage are quickly squashed with scriptures about being a “godly wife,” that many women turn to counseling. We all need to be better listeners, practice empathy, and try to understand enough in order to “bear one another’s burdens.” thank you!
This is an encouragement to all of us. Israel’s story is our story too. God is not finished with us, He is waiting to guide us through all our difficulties. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to help us, He did not leave us as orphans.
Monica
Love your comment Monica.
Great story and outcome. However, often there is divorce!
As in my case! But I believe God has a plan for each of
us at every road we walk down. God is in control and will
see us all to his best purpose for our lives!
Thank you for sharing your story. God is so good to use his people
A young man delayed his entry into a Christain college for two years after high school. A young lady skipped a grade in elementary school, which had the effect of accelerating her entry in the same college where they were assigned to the same class section of a required course “Building your marriage.” That was in 1956. We were married in 1958. This summer we will celebrate our 63rd wedding anniversary of a spectacular divinely blessed marriage!
God bless you.
Great encouraging applicatios for every believers on how to see God in our difficult and challenging relationships because He turns every situation around for the accomplishment of His will and for the praise of His name.
What a wonderful testament to God’s love and grace.
Sherry’s thoughts on marriage and living her life God’s way has been so helpful to me as I live life in similar situation. Slowly I grasp God’s leading and find it’s the only way to grow more in love with Jesus and give Him the glory.
Thank you, Sherry. Your story is inspirational especially for young married couples.
Hi, Sherry! Your bio says you “learned” about Jesus as a child and “grasped the concept” of a relationship when Him through Bible study and prayer. When di you see yourself a sinner and ask Jesus to save you?? Thanks !!
Hi Connie! It’s so hard to share your whole testimony in a couple of lines so forgive the lack of clarity. I learned that I was a sinner and needed Jesus as my Savior as a child but it wasn’t until I was older that I understood that He also wanted me to submit my entire life and will to Him – allow Him to be Lord too. That’s also when I realized being a Christian means a growing and deepening love for Christ.
God bless you Sherry.
I have been struggling recently in my 40 year marriage with expectations, nurturer, holding grudges, etc. The timing of this it truly God’s work. Unfortunately, I feel like I’m in this alone, my husband is faith based (something I’ve prayed about for years, I know God’s timing). Thank you for saying out loud what I’m feeling but embarrassed to ask for prayers of healing.
This story was so needed at this time in my life. Thank you for sharing. So many times we control the situation by making it look like you are in a perfect life/marriage but, eventually not even duct tape can hold it together. Giving all our weaknesses over to God can change it.
Thank you Sherry for your testimony. I’m learning in my marriage to ask God for his guidance instead of complaining to others. Staying close to the vine.
Wonderful study! I needed this!
Quite encouraging! Indeed trusting in God to fix situations rather than.trying to fix them on my own simply doesn’t work. I have learnt alot from your sharing
Sorry I meant I’d rather wait on God rather than strive to fix it.
Thank you for sharing your testimony. “God’s plan of redemption outweighs every failed expectation.” TRUTH!
Thank you for this word of encouragement; no wrong doing can be undone and I don’t have to dwell on it. But God can bring redemption, healing and blessings in every situation, thank you Father!
This is awesome: Thank you for allowing me to see something different now…wonderful encouragement ❤️??
Thank you for your insight, I truly needed that reminder today. I have been gently chastised for what I tried to communicate to my husband this morning . I just need to go back to the throne and drop my hurt at his feet.
Thank you for such an inspiring testimony. I am in that situation now I feel short changed in my marriage I end up giving in and apologize even when right.
I sure learnt a lot from the story..
Thank you I will put my trust in Jesus Christ.
we have all been there. Thanks for sharing
Thank you for your healing message that fills my heart with hope to think of Leah and Gods continued use of the despised and forlorn to bless the ages to come!
God bless you! This is a word in season!
Thank you very much for sharing
I have read it twice and I continue reading it now and again because of the truth in the content which evokes questions, reflection and ultimately lead to the realization that only God can meet my needs according to His plan and not my expectations.
So very encouraging! Thank you for sharing your heart ❤️
A very encouraging testimony, thank you
Thank u Sherry for this blog. I resonate with all that you’ve shared. I’m encouraged, affirmed and blessed when I read of yr tots on the struggles n how we should continue to look towards our God who redeems all things n make them beautiful in His time . He can right the wrongs and help us in our struggles . Praise God who is the Redeemer n Restorer ! We have to keep looking towards Him in faithfulness , trust and obedience !
Amen, SG!
A wonderful encouragement to keep my eyes FiXED on my heavenly dad who cares for me and sees my struggle and disappointment and failed expectations in my marriage. Indeed how he uses difficult relationships to sanctify us . I am encouraged to believe God can make a way.
What a powerful truth to hold on to, Eileen. Thank you for sharing!
I’ve read GENESIS at least 2-3 times, but everytime I read, there’s always some new enlightenment. Reading the above,..i.e.
Jacob’s family life was not ideal, but it also wasn’t hopeless. The LORD BLESSED LEAH WITH JUDAH, from whose line the Messiah eventually came. HE ALSO BLESSED RACHEL WITH JOSEPH, who would later preserve that same line. What Jacob saw as a great injustice was used by God to bless him and, ultimately, the world.
The above statement has given me new insights. Thank you.
Taly, I agree with you! It’s amazing how He brings out new things or emphasizes old things every single time we study! Our time with Him in His word is never wasted.
To God be the glory!
Thank you for sharing me your testimony.
I for one have encountered a lot of failed expectations especially now I am a widow since 2015.
As of now, a retiree since last March 2020. I am just like Rachel who experienced of failed expectation, I had worked for almost 32 years of being a registered nurse working in our country and also working in abroad, I was expecting once retired I will have now time for myself exploring other places all over the world but our planet earth was strucked by this pandemic which made me stayed at home frustrated as I am already 61 years old.
However, God has another plan for me instead making the best of it. I spend my time bonding with my 2 daughters which I do not have time for them since I am a working mother with limited time spent to my daughters. God is good! I was able to discover many things from them like their favorite and hated foods. We are spending time hearing God’s Words together unlike before we have different time in attending Church Worship.
God redeemed my frustrations and He established a better family relationship with my daughters. Halleluyah!
God bless us all!
I am so thankful for your testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness! Thank you for sharing that with us!
Thank you so much. It really comes at the right moment.
Praising God for His perfect timing!
Thank you Sherry for your transparency as you shared.
Your words inspire hope. I love your quote: God likes to use spouses in His sanctification process to point out sin and to practice grace.
May you continue to celebrate together till He calls one of you home.
Dee, I appreciate your encouragement. May His name be glorified!
What shall I do with my husband that regulary spends 2/3 nights with his lover-since 7 months he informs our boys 15, 18, 20 about this fact. Every day he comes back to get lunch at our family home. I feel at my limits to stay in thus situation. Though I have frequently ask him to stop that relation he insists that he is in need of the other woman. He won’t give her up… The boy is awaiting that I stop the situation. My husband doesn’t want to change anything. He wants to stay with us and the other lady.
Heavenly Father, I pray for your daughter and her marriage. Would You please bring healing to this family that has been so broken by sin? Would you lead your daughter to a Godly counselor that will lead her in the right way forward so that You are glorified every step of the way? We pray for those in her family that don’t know You as Lord and Savior, open their eyes to see You. It is in Your Mighty and Loving Name we pray, Amen!
What great insight not only to this week’s lesson but to life’s situations in marriage. I’m 71 and have been married 48 years and have walked with God for 51 years. Never say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks- you surely blessed and encouraged me with your words. PTL
Juanita, thank you for sharing that with us! Praising God that He never stops working in His children’s hearts!
Thank you for this very candid and encouraging article. God is in total control of every situation. He is Omniscient. He is a God of restoration. He is a God of grace and abounding in love. Nothing is impossible with Him. We can safely and confidently commit any problem of ours to Him. He will make everything beautiful in His way.
Amen, Michael! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for your blog and sharing your own personal story. It puts things in perspective. God Bless you and Jacob and your family
Thank you for sharing, Dickie! Glory to God!
“God’s complete redemption is offered to every person who comes to the realization that only God can fix damaged things.” This ministered to me. I shall look forward to God to redeem every failed expectation in my life. Amen.
Amen, Juliana! He is able!
Good to read the fairy tales.
And, God is able to restore anything to such when He wants.
Though He left me in a marriage dead since the day I entered leadership 31 years ago, and though I yet long for an intimate feminine relationship after 46 years of seemingly wasted faithfulness to one “partner”, He has been even more faithful and daily kept me joyful and hopefull in spite of the unresponsive indifference of His choice of a “mate” yet strengthened and empowered in two other fruitful ministries in addition to BSF. Nevertheless it is sad to see another earn their way into eternal punishment. Their choice, not mine. Very sad.
Later we will read “the Lord was with Joseph…”
After many decades, I now get to hear “the Lord is with you…”
I am a grateful “lifer” because of three decades of God’s daily, personal blessing obtained through Bible Study Fellowship.
God is able to make things live happily ever after.
But even if in this life He does not, I now get to sing and dance with African worshipers and in eternity, every race and tribe.
God is good!
Imana ni nziza! (in Kinyarwanda)
I am so sorry to know of your pain. I prayed that the Lord would give you healing in your heart and in your relationship. May He restore what is broken. I’m thankful that you have His Word to help you stay grounded in truth. What a great day that will be when we get to see Jesus make all things right!
God’s timing is perfect timing. I am sending the reading to a friend in need.
Amen, Anell!
I love this Sherry!! Especially those lines that reminded us that, no wrong doings can be undone, but can be redeemed. He uses all our past failures and brokenness for His glory and our good.
“ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”
Praising God for His goodness with you, Jinu!
The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12)
Thanks for sharing.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
what an eye opener!
Praise God!
This account came at a perfect time! Have tried to counsel a friend who needs to hear all that is expressed in this blog!
Thank you for your transparency!
Praising God for His always perfect timing!
Thank you ❤
Thanks for the sharing. It is inspiring, helping and directing. Through such testimony, i am really persuaded that God really cares.
Thank you Sherry. It was such a blessing to read your blog. God bless you and praying that God will bless you mightily for His glory. Beautiful family , it’s God’s choosing to have both of you to be witnesses in His vineyard.
Thanks Sherry for this Great and inspiring message, there are no wrongs that God when allowed, can’t put right. He can surely create beauty out of ashes.
Let us keep anchoring in Him.
Amen, Milly!
Thank you for your encouragement, Ruby! SO thankful that there is nothing He cannot redeem!
What an encouragement. I am blessed just being reminded of God’s love and mercy in redeeming my failed expectations in regards my children’s education.
Joy, thank you for your transparency. So thankful God has given you hope in an area that has disappointed you!
Thank you for sharing, Rakotobe! Praising God that He has reminded You of His love for you in every situation.
It is so encouraging to be reminded that our God seeks to redeem us in all our sinful and flawed lives. And He can!
Amen, Yong!
I am encouraged knowing that God brings blessings into seemingly hopeless situations.
Amen, Margaret!
Thank You Sherry for sharing your journey. I truly am moved by your honesty. As I read so many things fell off and hit straight aiming to my heart.Only GOD can fix broken things. I know it’s time to surrender All things to our Great Redeemer who will redeem these things in his time his way. I’m truly blessed by your sharing.
So thankful to God that His Word will never return void! Thank you for sharing, Anita!
Thank you for your transparency….I love how the word of God and the testimonies of His faithfulness is so satisfying….food to our soul, air for when we gasp and a lift in our sag. God is glorified in your sharing
Praising God with you, Jacqueline! He is so good!
Well written and beautiful testimony!
Very inspiring ,I’ve realized that God is a just God He never spoiled us ,He really done amazing realization to us that no matter what happen He is only God whom will never abandoned us,He grace is sufficient to those who believe and follow Him ,No matter our sinful we are He loves us that no one can do ,He teaches us a lesson but he blessed us if we really truly depends on Him,We should always think of God involvement in our relationship,The secret of forever is consulting and seeking Gods instruction ,always
Christine, thank you for sharing! Isn’t it amazing how the details of our lives are all different but the one thing that is constant is our gracious and merciful God?
Thank you for your testimony. I m facing challenges in our 37 years marriage. My husband 2nd marriage & my 1st. The opposite personality & culture conflicts, constant striving. He physical & emotional detached, avoiding my present. I’m abandon, ignore like I don’t exist in his life.
Dorothy find or make one thing you have in common and build from there. Think of your husband as your brother in Christ. Don’t beat yourself up. Baby step. I have prayed for you.
Dorothy, I am so sorry for the abandonment you are feeling but the Lord is definitely with you. He understands your pain. I prayed that He would give you the comfort and healing your heart needs.
Its encouraging how the Lord is at work in our marriages. Thank you for sharing.
Amen, Philip!
this is so helpful to me. it was well said that the Lord likes to use spouses in His sanctification process, to point out sin and to practice grace. Those early unmet expectations were part of His bigger plan to direct our attention to Him.
Yes, we will have circumstances and disagreements in the future … but not without hope ! God is faithful to continue His redemptive work in our lives.
Praise God!
This is an excellent testimony to read; inspiring, encouraging, and refreshing. May God bless and strengthen you, your marriage, your family, your ministry and your witness of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Thank you Deanna for your encouragement. May He also bless you with His choicest gifts!
I was so blessed by this testimony! I read this BSF lesson and did not see how it applied to my life until I read your story! Thank you so much!
I especially liked how you proclaimed that only God can fix broken things and the affirmation that what God has joined let no man separate!
God Bless you!
Michelle, isn’t it amazing how God relates us back to these people that seem so different from us? What a comforting thought that the same God who redeemed them is still redeeming His people today!
Beautiful testimony! Well written.
I believe that many married couples can relate because being married is not always easy. Thank goodness we have a God who loves us and cares for each person in the marriage. With God’s help being married brings much joy. Thank you for sharing.
Amen and Amen, Priscilla!
Wonderful testimony with very impressive and useful spiritual message. I am happy that I can relate this message with my marriage life and able to understand. I also used to share with married couples that if they have issues then they should seek God who united them. Wonderful inspiring message. Thank you.
I would like to quote here that I joined BSF few months back..it’s very useful for me and guiding me in correct directions.
Praising God for His faithfulness in your life, Leena!
I loved reading this blog and how we can hold fast in faith for God’s plan in our lives. I had my fair share of struggles as a single parent but I overcame all odds with God’s grace. I am still happily single after my divorce with two adult sons and I believe that’s probably God’s way of showing his love for me. Hope your blog inspire others who go through similar struggles and learn to cling to God for his plan and purpose.
Thanks for sharing your story and how God brought you together again.
He is so good isn’t He, Fran?❤
This is very timely! I am undergoing rejection, failures, stagnation and everything is burdensome. I am very encouraged by this.
Ruth, I prayed for you. May He be your Rock and Fortress!
How true! I am grappling with old failed expectations in my marriage, unfaithfulness and a feeling of rejection. I was named after Leah and I identify with her plight. However I
Praise God for blessing us with 5 godly children and the 10 grandchildren raised on their households.
Lucille, thank you for being so open with your pain and demonstrating that our God is still greater than our worst hurts. May He continue to comfort and bless you!
Very touching.
I believe that god is in the midst of our failures. He waits on our commitment to follow his word and instructions.
Arlanders, what a great reminder that He never leaves us!
Wonderful story on Genesis 29 and how our God sees and remembered and can fix everything according to His plan. And Praise the LORD for His plan and purpose in the lives of Sherry Thomas!
What an amazing God to have a plan and purpose for each one of us! Praising God with you, Janice!
Thank you for this message of how the Holy Spirit has strengthened both of you in your marriage! So encouraging!
He is so good!
I’ve read the Book of Genesis many times over and until I joined the men’s BSF in Hawaii, I never saw the insights and gold nuggets even though I took Old and New Testament from an accredited university. I love the insights and my group meets once a week on Monday evening. I love those lessons and the lectures at each meeting.
Praising God with you, Selwyn!
Thank you for your insightful and thought provoking story. I am a 79 year old mother and grandmother who still needs this wisdom in this time of COVID.
Jane, thank you for sharing and letting others know that our growth in Christ is a lifelong exercise! I’m thankful for your faithfulness to look to Him!
Wow Sherry! Your profound words were written with God’s guiding hand, I’m sure.
My situation is quite different though: I was in a near fatal one-car rollover. While in a two-month long coma I’d been pronounced dead twice and given “Last Rites.” Just one and a half months out of the coma I was talked into signing guardianship papers for my wife to take charge of things. That was a huge mistake. It happened one evening when it was dark in the nurses station with my wife and the night duty nurse putting thoughts in my feeble mind and scaring me into providing my signature. Thirty-four at the time and I am now sixty-six. House, cars, small bank accounts, credit cards, well everything had been taken out of our names and put into her name only so that I couldn’t touch them. More than a year of hospitals and nursing homes; I was deemed permanently disabled. She wouldn’t allow me back at the house I had built in the country. Then she, after sixteen years and two children, kept our kids from me. Once she had taken everything, she divorced me. I had absolutely no say in the proceedings.
The way I see it now is that God was bringing me back into His fold. I was hardheaded and probably wouldn’t have listened to anything less drastic. I recall asking my Dad once, “Why can’t I have a miracle?”
This was his reply, “You did have a miracle Steve…you lived.” That shut me up; I felt humbled.
Steve, I’m so sorry that you have gone through so much and so encouraged that you can see He is there and still working. I prayed for you this evening. May the Lord keep us going faithfully until we are with Him and can “greatly rejoice.” 1 Peter 1:6
Thanks for sharing your perspective. It gave me lots of food for thought. May God richly bless you & your family!!
Praise God! Thank you for sharing, Mary!
It have been so encouraged for me
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks God?
Praising God with you, Susan!
“We learned that He likes to use spouses in His sanctification process, to point out sin and to practice grace.” This remark of yours is so profound and insightful! I will share this with others. Grace and peace be with you and your family.
Bless you for sharing this very personal and encouraging witness to God’s activities in your life. What you shared is meaningful in many ways.
dear ! I thank.you so much for your reachly sharing .May God empowers you and bless greatly you family
NJO, I asked the Lord for His blessing over you as well!
Thank you for sharing such a personal and very applicable testimony. Several ladies in my group also shared about marriage and Gods restoration of relationships.
Bernice, how awesome to know that the body of Christ is coming together to encourage one another to look at what God can do!
Praise the Lord! Thank you for sharing that, Myra!
Thanks for adding life to the Bible study. I appreciate your openness about your life. It is useful to people of all walks of life.
Thank you for your encouragement, Pat! So grateful for His grace!
Amen
Thanks for this timely testimony. Indeed the Lord is sovereign and supreme. Its my prayer to fully trust Him with my circumstances.
I can so relate to your testimonial of marriage! I am going through the notion as of right now. Im still learning to turn the other cheek, run to Jesus and forgive right in the moment. But I am grateful that in the end I acknowledge that and I take it to our Lord and lay it all at His feet and, just thank Him for the trials and happy endings!
Thank you for sharing, God needed me to read this!!
Love you Sister in Christ ❤
Jodie, thank you for sharing that! It seems like this will be a lifelong process for us to learn to trust Him to work all things out. So glad He is faithful to do it!
Amen, Tom!
Amen . The all knowing and all seeing Sovereign Lord is faithful till the end and He loves us so much . There is none like Him and our God is able . Trusting Him wholeheartedly and asking the God to give is patience , Peace and wisdom . Thank you for your story
Sonia – Yes and Amen!
As human,we fail in the face of our expectations,worry set in and we most at times hold ourselves or blame others for what has gone wrong.
Genesis,is an eye opener.
The live of lsaac and Rebekah with their twin boys,Esau and Jacob,tells us a whole life story on how God,plans the way of man.
His plans happens in His own way and in His own time.
Amen, Victoria!
Glad you got the fairytale. Very few people do. It takes the Lord, the husband and the wife. It won’t work when only 2 cooperate. Without all 3 nothing is possible. Separation, divorce and pain are all that is left. The Lord does provide to get one through the mess, but the pain remains along with triggers that bring emotions tumbling like bricks, reminding one that things cannot be rebuilt as God originally had intended. Working on forgiveness is a daily challenge, and as you struggle to let things go, and think you may have finally turned a corner, waves crash over and you know that you are still in the struggle of forgiveness. I have been a Christian for a long time. I do know that God provides for me and I love Him with all my heart and continue to commune and live for Him. I long for the day when I do not feel that I have an F in marriage, and I know that it will never be erased or understood by many Christians. I do know that God loves me, and He has been my only true husband who is faithful to His promises.
Leah I understand you?
I understand emotional abuse in marriage, I understand Gods sanctification, I understand the pain of only one in the marriage truly seeking the Lord?
Leah, that was powerful testimony. It is amazing how God sends things your way to everything in perspective. You nailed it with every pain and emotion I’m going through. Forgiveness the toughest of them all. God Bles you fod blessing me with your words.
Leah Number Two,
Your story caused me to think of losses I have had in my life as well. My losses do not involve my husband, but those of close relationships that have caused me to wonder why that person would hurt me so badly and how do I get past all the triggers. Along with studying BSF, I am reading a wonderful book about forgiveness. This book is all scripture based and it is called Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa Terkeurst. There is also a workbook and a DVD that gives a really deep dive into what forgiveness is and what it can look like for you. I am working through the book and video series with a group of friends, but you could certainly do it on your own if it is something that interests you. I pray that God would pour out his blessings on you as you rely on Him for all your needs.
Genesis Lesson 18, Question 8a and 8b. God sees you. God IS sustaining and growing and teaching and drawing near to you – and you are here to tell of His goodness in these things. God has not forgotten you. Adopting an eternal perspective and daily gratitude and shifting my focus to my own sin helps me get through a very unhealthy marriage. Prayers for you my sister. ♥️
Sara, thank you for sharing! I prayed for you and your marriage as well.
The Lord still has the final Word! Forgive and you will see what God can do – He himself will put you back together! No one gets an F in marriage, the brokenness is real and God does and will restore! Only He can do that! Keep giving things over to the Lord and be assured of His great love for you! Praying for a special touch, for you to see all the Light that God is pouring through your brokenness! Jesus was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief! You are walking in His ways! Much love! xxx
Dear Leah, I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I prayed that the Lord would comfort you and heal your broken heart. I will continue that prayer any time He brings you to mind. He is able!
I have been blessed to read your words on failed expectations. It is amazing to see our lives in others and through God’s Word. I too have experienced God’s work in my marriage. Said many times this marriage must have been the hand works of the Lord. After almost fifty-nine years I know it was His hand. I am so thankful that it was God’s choice and not mine.
Thanks for your sharing.
Sweet Ida, thank you for sharing! I love your testimony of God’s faithfulness!
Thank you for sharing. Being new to BSF (going on 3 years). My relationship has grown and I am in a very different place spiritually. Its so encouraging to hear from others. Your testimony is very inspiring. Thank you.
Linda, I am so thankful for your testimony of God’s work in your life as you have been studying His Word!
Our 55 years of marriage would not have been possible with out God at the helm. Proverbs 3:5&6 must be on our heart every day!
Praising God with you, Mary!
Sherry’s story is a story of God and His faithfulness just as Abrahan, Isaac, and Jecob’s story. We all are living in Story of God’s faithfulness. Therefore God is the only one who is worthy of praise, honor and glory. Hallelujah!.
Amen, Honglan! All glory to Him alone!
Lovely testimony to our gracious & Almighty, sovereign God who uses our failures & redeems them through His good plans for our sanctification & for His glory!
Amen! All glory to God!
Wow, so well written & relatable for me. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom & experiences with us. I am so grateful that God uses people in the Bible to teach us the lessons we need to learn…for BSF that provides such excellent questions & notes to help us learn these lessons, & for my BSF sisters to share & learn from.
Praising God with you, Marj!
This is a very blessed and meaningful message. Thank you for being real!
My husband and I have been married for 50 years. We have three adult daughters , four handsome grandsons and a great grandchild on the way. Yes, difficulties, challenges will come however prayer, communication and comprise are the keys. Prayer is the key and faith unlocks the door. Blessings!
Thank you for sharing your Godly wisdom, Rita!
Great encouragement for all couples. God is our redeemer in more than one way!!
Amen, Linda!
Thank you so much for the encouragement and pointing out truths of God. After 41 1/2 years of marriage one would think that we would have a grasp on His purpose for this relationship but we have much left to learn!!
Ann, thank you for being transparent! I agree with you and it’s clear that this type of schooling is for life!
Hi Sherry, how are you? Very well written! Love your honesty and willingness to reveal your pain so that we can see our great God’s plan of redemption and hope in our marriage. “Maybe we had been idealistic in our own expectations, but God had a plan and purpose..” I must remember this.
Diane, so good to hear from you, and thank you for your encouragement. God is good! We are doing well and are anxiously waiting for God to allow us to see you all again!
Thank you.? for this timely reminder to look for GOD’S redemption and not give up on difficult relationships ?
Beautifully put, the action of God when we have created a mess of our own making. God is so kind to cause “all things to work together for Good for those who are called according to His good purpose” and He alone is the One who turns our disasters into Life Changing Blessings!
Thank you for the insight
Becky – Amen!
Thank you for the encouragement, Leanne!
Sherry’s candor and transparency is very vital to everyones fellowship..Her trust in the Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit is showing us how spiritual maturity can be realized over time and shared experience. This is so similar in my relationship with my soulmate of 54 years, who went home to be with our Redeemer in June. These words are so heartwarming, hopeful, and full of opportunity to enrich each other. Thanks—James 1:22..and Matthew 6:33
Bill, thank you for sharing! Your marriage is a wonderful inspiration
Bill, thank you for sharing your testimony! I am sorry for your great loss and prayed that our Lord would continue to comfort you with wonderful memories of your life together.
What a beautiful testimony of God’s restorative redemption!
He is so good!
Thank you for your timely message.
Praise God!
It is truly amazing what God can do when we invite him in,
He can completely change our mindset, emotions and behaviour.
Thanks for telling your story which gives honour to God for all He has done as you have submitted to Him
Amen, Lynda! Thank you for your encouragement!
I hear your story and can relate. We share much in common. God has made my marriage so full and rich through His love. My marriage is so much more than I could have imagined it to be. It hasn’t always been like this, let me tell ya! It’s been difficult, however and God has taught me to put my husband before all earthly things. The love that is reciprocated is very sweet and precious. There is light in the morning! Thank you for sharing!
Amanda, I am praising God for your testimony of His goodness!!!
Beautiful Family!
Thank you, Paulette! God has been good to us!
Sherry, you and your husband have a beautiful testimony of a marriage done right. You trusted God with your marriage and received His blessing when in these days many give up before receiving God’s best for them. May your children see your example of following God’s way and grow to be strong men and women of God. Thank you for sharing. To God be the glory.
Dear Sherry,
Thank you for sharing your testimony❤️❤️❤️
You’re so blessed & God loves you!
Your kids are all so wonderful that reminds me of my 4 siblings.I have 2 sisters & 2 brothers!
God bless you & your beautiful family???
Edna, thank you for your encouragement! We have loved discovering that 5 is a great number. ?
Donna, thank you for your encouragement. I am so thankful for our testimony because it proves that His grace is still greater than our sin. And I agree – all glory to Him alone!
Inspiring read
Praise God! Thank you for sharing, Maisha!
Hi sweet Sherry!
What a beautiful contribution and faithful example of living out God’s plan for your life. I miss seeing you in our class and so thrilled to see that the Lord has made your quiver fuller!
Beautiful family!
Xoxo
Cindy Shea
Cindy!!! I was so excited to see your name pop up – I was just thinking about you the other day! Thank you for your encouragement – He is so good!
God is so wonderful to sanctify us through marriage. What a testimony to lean into God for redemption not giving into disappointment of my limited, human expectations. Thank you for sharing!!
In awe of our Great God with you, Kelli!
Thank you for bringing this perspective to these scriptures. I enjoy learning how God uses these situations for good, and all roads lead to Jesus in the long run!! Our God is amazing!
Amen, Debbi!
Sherry: Thank you for having the courage to share your very real world example of God’s redemption of our own failures to be perfect. Your line “Are you tempted to assume that your own choices or the choices made by others have forever ruined any chance of fulfillment?” really touched my heart. Only looking to our redemption through Jesus can keep out bitterness that may develop from our own disappointments.
Thank you, again, for this reminder.
Amen, Linda! May He help us to remember that in every difficult moment we face!
What a lovely testimony to the faithfulness of God in marriage. Thank you for sharing.This has really encouraged me. Thank you.
Praise God! Thank you for sharing, Riz!
Beautifully written, Sherry!
Hey MaryBeth! I’m thankful for the testimony He has given us so far!
A beautiful story and such a wonderful testimony of God’s redeeming grace. I, too, have a similar story and am at peace, finding joy in the circumstances, knowing God is at work! To God go the glory!!
#GodWins.
Thanks Sherry.This is relatable in many aspects. Thanks for sharing.
Praise God!
Praising God with you, Jan!
Appreciate your shared true experiences. Beautiful Family.
Thank you for the encouragement, Lynn! May He be glorified!
Thank you for your blog on marriage. Even after 40 years of marriage, expectations still are a struggle. Your encouragement to offer it to the Great Redeemer is what I need to remember. What a wonderful article about how the Lord has blessed your marriage and given you wisdom. Praying that the Lord will continue to use you at BSF and as an example to other couples who struggle. I especially am thankful for the message that ‘no wrongdoing can ever be undone however, every sinner and situation can be redeemed’.
Georgene, thank you for your encouragement and I’m so glad it was a blessing! Praising God with you!
Wao great eye opener. It’s all about God’s perfect plan in my marriage. Thanks
Amen, Elizabeth!
Praise the Lord for the great things He has done! Thank You for sharing of the Hope we have in Him when we place our trust in Him! May we all draw near to Him through His Word and be filled with His Spirit moment by moment trusting Him to transform us in the day to day choices we make….choosing to love despite our emotions. TO God be the glory!
Amen and Amen, Laura!
Great story.
Praise the Lord!
Loved the truth about relationships which for the most part are the same now as in Genesis 29
Thank you Sherry?❤️?
F
Avery, you are so right! Same fallible people, same Redeeming God!
This struck a cord with my life and marriage. When I was a newly wed I questioned my choice but I knew that I had asked God to help me with the choice of one of two men I loved.
Now 56 years later I have always held to the promise I made to abode to love my husband.
It has had its trials but we are still together .
Doris, thank you for sharing your testimony. I am praising God with you!
Great, thanks for sharing your story❤❤❤
Sarlomie, happy to share what great things He has done. Thank you for the encouragement!
Thank you for sharing.
All glory to God! ?
Thank you for sharing how God took your difficult situation and changed you both in the midst of it.
Such a perfect example of what He does for each of us. He can do what we can’t.
Praising Him!
Becky, I am praising Him with You! Thank you for your encouragement!
I’m in tears…speechless! Help Jesus!
Carol, you made me think of Psalm 56:8 – He knows your tears and He is working. I prayed for you too.
Thank you for your story! It encouraged me and glorifies God. Beautiful
Thank you for sharing that, Terri! Praising God for His works and His Words!